You get what you give so don’t be surprised when it comes back. My best friend is the most generous, kind, intelligent and classy lady anyone would be fortunate to know. She always – and I mean always – has a kind word for those that cross her path. I can be talking to her on the phone when she is in the grocery store and hear her talk to the meat clerk or the check out girl. Without thought or effort she gives them genuine appreciation for their assistance and always has a kind word or compliment for them. And no matter how great or small the deed, she always says thank you. She is awesome that way.
But she is continually surprised when people show the same kindness to her. I’m not surprised, she gets what she gives. She is kind and appreciative and therefore others appreciate her and say kind words to her. It is a lovely cycle. I love that karma.
I also know a couple of people who expect kindness has a price. So they are guarded, negative or worse yet closed off. If someone does something kind they will look for the invisible “but” attached to it. You know the kind – when someone shows kindness they respond with a, “Wonder how long that is going to last” or “yeah, they must want something.” It is at this point that I must resist the urge to do the head-slap thing to them.
They are missing a valuable point. My best friend does not show kindness to reap a reward; she does it unselfishly without thought and is richly rewarded. If you test kindness as a conditional action then you will not see the true fruition of its beauty. Just accept the kindness and say thank you, stop looking for the bottom to fall out of it. And for goodness sakes, just be nice to someone for the sake of being nice. If you need a reason, fine, it is Wednesday – there is your reason!
When receiving kindness learn to say thank you and shut up – and I mean shut your mouth and your negative thoughts. If someone pays you a compliment do not say thank you then mitigate it by downgrading yourself. If someone performs an act of kindness shut your mind off before it gets to “yeah, but what do you want or what’s next…” and just say thank you. If you continue to respond with the negative you are going to get what you give and people will stop. No one wants to hand you something to be nice then get their hand smacked. Pretty soon they will stop offering their hand.
There are good and kind people in this world, but you have to allow yourself to see them. Yes, there are some that will show kindness to further their cause and there is karma for them, too. But if you view every person with an invisible “but” attached to their actions then you, my friend, are missing out. A whole day can be made on the kind remark or thoughtfulness of a stranger. What is even better is when you are that stranger in another person’s story.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Career Polish, Inc.