Earlier this week I had the revelation that I was stressing out about things that were out of my control and not controlling the things for which I had complete control. From that moment on it has been a week of kicking myself in the butt, with additional help from a couple of very dear friends.
Today the butt-kicking continues. I am a very analytical person…VERY analytical. It is a blessing and a curse. It is a great trait when helping my clients, I am able to dig a little deeper and get results because I am gently tenacious. How did my friend Ruthann put it once, like a dog with a bone, I don’t give up. Once I have an idea in my head I have to pursue it until I have seen it from every side, understand every aspect, every angle and can grasp the concept in entirety.
So this idea of having uncontrollable things control me and not taking action on those I can control was pretty much consuming me, and the analytical side kept driving the bus. “Why, why, why,” I was asking, trying to dig down deeper to find a reason for these actions, an understanding so I could correct it. And here’s what the butt-kicking side of me answered this morning: “Shut up!” and slammed on the brakes.
You see, this very direct and blunt side of me understands something that the analytical side tends to forget – not everything has a reason. I was actually putting off taking responsibility by trying to find a reason. I was delaying the process, creating an excuse. The butt-kicking side busted the analytical side. It was not a pretty scene; I think the analytical side actually cried. Yes, my world is very complicated.
Here’s the thing, you cannot always explain why people do the things they do, and that includes yourself. Seriously, have you ever said something and as soon as it came out of your mouth think, “What the heck?! Why would I say that?” I have. And you can sit there and try to figure out the whys and boo-hoo or you can get off your butt and just push through. Once you work though the struggle that is in front of you the answers might be a bit more clear. Or, they may never be shown at all but at that point it is of little consequence because you did the most important part – you pushed through.
So today, I am pushing – and pushing hard. The butt-kicking side has the analytical side on a very short leash. And although I still have a lot to catch up on I feel amazing. I catch myself when I start to get a bit overwhelmed and think I won’t be able to catch up on everything by telling myself that it took more than a day to get here it is going to take more than a day to get out. Butt-kicking side does have a bit of empathy.
As much as my friends wanted to help it wasn’t until my own butt-kicking side decided it had had enough and made an appearance that I was able to get back on track. If you find yourself overwhelmed and notice that your friends are starting to give you a bit of gentle butt-kicking; perhaps it is time that you turn it over to your own butt-kicking side and take control. Because no matter how well-meaning your friends are, it is only you and you alone that can drive that bus; you just have to decide what side of you is going to take the wheel.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Career Polish, Inc.