I want my family and friends to be blessed with good health emotionally, physically and financially. I want peace on earth, the Cubs to win a World Series, a cure for all cancers and childhood illnesses. I want dogs that mind all the time, the house to remain clean for more than a day or two and snow only on Christmas day. I want to be known as the Career Coach/Strategist for college athletic teams, I want all my client’s to reach every one of their goals and I want to improve every day on my skills and abilities. I want the fat bank account that allows me to travel through America and Europe while being able to continually give generously to charities I believe in. One day I’ll want a partner who is my best friend, lover, partner in crime, understands I need my own space, gets my sarcasm and appreciates who I am as a person and who can always make me laugh even if I don’t want to.
Pretty big list, I know, but it is my list. I think everyone should have an “I want it all” list. It helps us really figure out what is important to us and why. It also helps us determine what we are willing to take second best for the time being until the right thing comes along.
Many times when I’m working with clients it is right in front of us that where they want to be is a step or two away, and therefore some “settling” steps must be taken before they reach their ultimate goal. The big title position is the ultimate goal; however to get there they may need to take a lesser position to gain the experience that they need to take over that dream job. That is an acceptable settle. It is part of a plan – it is making a decisive step to reach what you really want.
Too often we give up on our dreams and settle because we are afraid of either actually achieving or fear that we can’t achieve our goal. I had a very dear friend of mine who was afraid of the success and settled, he told me that his current job wasn’t what he wanted, but it wasn’t bad – he could live with it the rest of his life. I smacked him, out of love of course.
Look I get that sometimes you need to settle, but if you are make sure it is for the right reasons. Some things I will settle on in the interim, some I’m just going with the flow and some I refuse.
I’m going with the flow knowing my house is a welcoming home and it will never look like a BHG showcase, as long as I live in Indiana snow will always here after Christmas and my dogs – yeah well, I love them anyway. I don’t even want to hear any comments about the Cubs – period!
I will always support the American Cancer Society, Riley Hospital and other organizations that fight for the cures. I refuse to give up hope.
In building my business there are some jobs that I have had to take on that maybe I didn’t really want to, but I got bills to pay and I choose to look at them as every experience is a lesson. I know I’m going to reach all my goals, even if I have to take a break and settle a bit now and then along the way. This I can be flexible on because I’m in control of this one.
If you are taking a job to help you move forward then I’m in your corner. If you are taking it as a signal of defeat then I’ll want to smack you too. That’s like being with the wrong person just to be with someone. It is easy, you don’t have to work for it and you don’t have to worry about being hurt because you are not invested.
That’s not a way to live! If you don’t love what you do or who you are committed to then get out. Find your passion, figure out what steps you need to do to realize it and make some moves. Yes, you may have to take a step back in jobs to ultimately move forward but at least you would be making movement.
Fear isn’t a bad thing. When I first started my business I was terrified and it was a motivator. At one point I used it as a “I’ll show you” factor. I am vested in this, I have opened my heart and soul to my business and leave myself open for painful lessons but that’s how I experience my greatest joys and successes – I allow the fear. If you are afraid of taking on a new job because you don’t know if you will be successful then go for it and use that fear for your benefit.
It’s like finding the right person. There is some part of you that they absolutely scare the crap out of – that fear of being hurt or rejected. You have two choices: be afraid and run away – or – go for it.
Very recently my best friend hit me upside the head with the proverbial 2×4. She pointed out in her blunt and loving manner that I was queen of running away always making sure that my fear was not realized. Oh sure, I never got hurt, but I never allowed someone the opportunity to get past the security system. I hate when she is right.
So I made a conscious decision a few weeks ago and against everything that I engrained in myself I let go. Yesterday, last week, last month – all gone. The slate is clean – it is today, right now that mattes, I’ve opened myself up and guess what – it ain’t bad. With a clean slate, a new perspective and acceptance of wanting it all I’m not going to settle because I know that my partner in crime will be picking the lock.
For the things that you have control of – unlock your own doors and pick your own locks to take the steps you want to take so you can start checking off items on your own want it all list.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.