I had a wonderful father, I’ve raised a son and I’ve been married – I know all about selective listening. My father was so awesome he even explained it to me when I was a little girl. My son mastered it during his teenage years. Oh, I’ve very well versed in this wonderful phenomenon. We all posses this skill.
I consider myself an optimistic person so I try to see the good in things. Even traits or actions that could be perceived as negative I try to see in a more positive light. For example, when my son was younger and just starting his teenage terror I would often tell him, “Just image what you could do if you used your powers for good.” Yeah, I was that kind of a mom.
What lead me to thinking about selective memory was a quote I read: “Stop saying ‘I can’t’. You can. You just choose not to.” Which lead me to think about why people think they can’t and how often it is because it is what they have been told.
If you can ignore your significant other’s voice when it hits the nagging range why can’t you learn to ignore other people when they tell you that you can’t do something? Now – I mean things that your heart desires that are legal, moral and positive. No law-breaking here.
My dogs even use selective listening. I prefer that they behave like real dogs and lay on the floor; they chose to ignore me and become part of my couch – as pictured above. We all have selective listening.
Perhaps because my dad was so awesome or that I am extremely stubborn I have always had a knack for ignoring the naysayers. I was the one that if you told me I couldn’t do something it then became a challenge – even if it wasn’t presented that way.
When I first went into the financial industry I was required to earn several brokerage licenses. My boss told me we would see how I did with the first one and if I could get it done in the first year before we set a time on the others. That was all it took – it was a challenge.
I ended up getting my series 7, 63, 65, 9 and 10 all within 12 months. I saw it and I raised it.
I’m learning to mellow a bit with age – just a bit, but I make a conscious decision as to whether I give credence to the opinions of others. If the opinions are unsupportive then I decide if it is in a supportive manner – for example perhaps I need more training on a certain area before I tackle it. If there is no support there – then my selective listening kicks in.
When someone wants to rain on your parade you need to realize that you have the power here. You can kick them off the parade route by dismissing their negative crap. Just because someone says it doesn’t mean that it is true or that you need to listen to it.
Use your selective listening to let only the positive, supportive statement filter through and remain in your mind. Remember – it is your parade, you can go wherever you want.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.