There is always a huge element of uncertainty in job searching from responding to an opportunity to waiting to hear after an interview. The wait can be unbearable, we start to make assumptions, replay every scenario, wonder if we should have said this or that, done something different, waiting, wondering – it is an exercise in crazy. Then you get the rejection.
You had built yourself up in such a tizzy that you had put all your hopes on this one opportunity even to the point of looking beyond the obvious downsides of the job just to be accepted. We all want to be accepted, feel wanted and be picked for the team. So when we are rejected we take it personally.
It can lead to a vicious cycle of self-doubt which can really speed up the train to crazy town. We start to doubt ourselves, our value, what we have to give, our self-worth and possibly if anyone will ever want us. Will we ever find the right job? At some point you might be willing to accept any job even if it is completely wrong for you just to have the feeling of acceptance.
That’s called settling and you deserve better. Knock it off.
Yes, rejection sucks and it happens to everyone. At some point at any level within personal or professional lives we have all been rejected. And I do not know one person who likes it, not one. Not even the masochists. So it happens, but what you do with it is what is important.
Rejection is a blindfold that someone else puts on you but you must choose to take off yourself.
When someone rejects you they essentially limit you from seeing the entire landscape, like a blindfold. What’s worse is after they put this blindfold on they then set you squarely in front of a fork in the road, but you are unaware of it because you’ve been blindfolded b the rejection.
You have a choice, but to make that choice you have to let go of the rejection. You can’t possibly move forward without being able to see because you will run smack into the pole right in front of you which is holding the sign with big fat letters that says “FORK IN ROAD”. Ouch.
So the first step is to take off that blindfold and realize you actually do have a choice, you are not stuck down a dead end.
The first option is to continue down the path of holding on to what has rejected you. You can see for miles down this road and if you replaced the blindfold with rose colored glasses you see how maybe this might work, they may call you back, you could really pursue it and convince them to hire you even though it isn’t the right job. Those rose colored glasses make the desire for acceptance cloud better judgment. You are lessoning yourself to adapt to something beneath you. Remember, you deserve better. Take off the damn glasses.
When you do the landscape changes. You can still see for miles down that road but you see it for what it is and the thought hits – what the hell was I thinking?
They wanted me to work 70 hours a week, less pay that industry average, no chance of advancement, and in all honesty they really weren’t nice people. Who wants to work with not nice people? Not me.
When you look down option two you can’t see anything, there is a huge cloud obstructing the view so moving forward you just don’t know what you are getting yourself into.
But behind the cloud is the sunshine.
Opportunities lie in rejection. It allows you to open yourself up to the unknown and take chances. Sure, you might get rejected again, but you’ve been there, done that so you know you can choose the other road again.
When I look back at some of the most significant events in my life or best things that happened I found that many were the result of rejection. Had I gotten what I really wanted at the time I would have completely missed out on something better for me at the time.
I’ve been rejected for sucky jobs which left me open to take something else which turned out to be just what I needed at the time. I’ve been rejected by difficult prospective clients which left me available to take on other opportunities which proved to be more beneficial for me. I’ve been rejected by insecure and manipulative men which left me free to meet someone secure, willing and able to walk on the same path.
When I choose to accept rejection as a singular action of which I have no control and decide to view it as a reason that I am not meant to know then it turns into a blessing. Had I gotten everything that I always thought I wanted at the time I would be a much different person – and probably very miserable.
Man plans God laughs.
I had to learn to stop being selfish. Wanting something so badly just for the feeling of acceptance clouded my judgment and ability to truly see the opportunity for what it was, not what I wanted it to be.
I deserved better. Those jobs truly were sucky and I would have hated them. Those clients would have sucked the life out of me and there is no amount of money that can make that right.
It was hard to be rejected and it hurt, a lot. But once I stopped licking my wounds I could look up and move forward. Sometimes the next step wasn’t out of bravery it was out of exhaustion. Just going for something just because, heck why not, I’ve already been rejected. But the point is I moved forward and it was a good thing.
So if the happy has been sucked out because you were recently rejected for something you really wanted then I’m hear to tell you – hooray! That means that something better is coming just for you.
Stop worrying about why that stupid company didn’t want you, it wasn’t meant to be let it go. If you do have to take a job just to pay the bills, that’s fine, just don’t give up on yourself. Remember, you deserve better.
Even if you do not know what better is – you still deserve better. Another thing rejection teaches us is what we want is sometimes not what is best for us. Think of it this way – we may want to eat that whole death by chocolate cake all in one sitting just to drown our sorrows but really, is the diabetic coma the best thing for us? I think not.
You have choices, to accept things or reject them; to learn from them or beat your head against a wall. It is up to you. When you decide to remove the blindfold of rejection you will discover that you have opportunities either right in front of you or just around the corner that you never would have seen had you gotten what you thought you wanted.
When you do stumble upon the right thing, trust me the rejection and pain will all be worth it in the end. Just give yourself the opportunity to stumble.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.