In addition to being very busy doing the work I absolutely love a very good friend had bought a house so every spare moment I was helping paint, remove, remodel, clean, repair and pretty much anything you can think of in preparing a house. On top of that I was squeezing in a surprise for my mom and step-dad of repainting their house while they were on vacation, checking on the cat, helping a friend launch a new offshoot, spending time with family, friends and taking care of my own little pack.
I was freaking exhausted!
Needless to say my house was neglected. It was so bad that this weekend when a friend came to pick me up when I thought his eyes were roaming around the room I would cry out “don’t look at my house!” It was pretty bad.
I was talking to my best friend about it last night and how I felt some areas, especially my office, are in complete disarray and bemoaning about how I wish I was more organized. I made reference to how I am a Virgo and we are supposed to be super-organized and I must be the joke of the astrological signs.
That’s when she said I was being unfair to myself because I was comparing myself to some unknown standard of organization. I am organized to my capacity in my comfort zone and in a system that works for me.
That’s what best friends do – they completely turn things to the bright side all about you.
She had a valid point. I was setting my standards to some ambiguous standard to which I could not live up to. If I was that super organized I think my
house would then feel sterile and cold. I can’t live in that – those are not my standards. I want warm, inviting and lived in because having kids and a pack of dogs this place will never be a Martha Stewart home – and I’m ok with that.
I have to take a look at what I have, what I am willing to do and what feels right to me. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else – as long as it makes sense and works for me that is what is important.
When people are job searching too often they get other people’s standards stuck in their head. I hear things like, “at this point in my life I should be….” fill in the blank.
Should be what and according to whom?
Let’s forget for a moment what anyone else thinks you should or shouldn’t be – let’s take a look at what you want.
What you want is based on your standards. The ones you set for yourself. What can you live with, what will make you happy and what do you want to aspire to?
These are the standards that matter.
If you have that great job that everyone envies, heck even the great spouse/significant other, lifestyle, house, car whatever, but it doesn’t make you happy then these things are not meeting your own standards. But do you know what your standards?
What is it you want in a job? Is it a secure paycheck, is it a challenge, is it the opportunity to do meaningful work, is it location or title? Forget what is expected of you, answer this honestly. It is the beginning of determining your standards.
Once you know what drives you then you can go about taking actions that support that. One thing you will have to keep reminding yourself is that you deserve what you desire. If it is the position title then you deserve it – but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work your butt off for it. Work hard because you deserve it.
Believe, take action and do not settle for less than your standards because no one is more worthy of what makes you happy than you.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.