One of the “rules” was “we are not mind readers”. What I find funny about this is I am pretty sure that every woman would put that on her “rules” as well.
Let’s face it – it’s probably a good thing that no one can read minds; however we all need to figure out that it applies across the board in all sorts of situations.
I am not going to even go into the whole dating thing and mind-reading because it is too scary of a topic for even me to tackle today.
Instead I’m looking at this from a job searching perspective.
When you first start out looking for a new job you most likely have it set in your mind what you want or at least an idea of what you want, if nothing else you have an idea of what you do not want. Any one of these situations is fine – you have set the rules.
Perfect. When you start networking with others they then have an idea of where you are going or looking for even if in a broad of vague sense. Of course I think the more vague the more damage you actually do for yourself, but that is another blog.
What my point today is that when you change the rules you have to communicate it or else we are all lost.
For example let’s say you started off telling people there was no way in hell you would ever get back into transportation. But now you are considering it but you don’t tell anyone about this little rule change.
Then a friend hears of a perfect opportunity within transportation that you would be perfect for but they don’t tell you about it because you were so hell-bent on not going there. You missed out.
If you ever hear that this friend had a lead and did not give it to you don’t you dare be upset with them. They were just following your original rules. You can’t be mad at them for not clueing you in when the only thing they knew is you were adamant against it.
See where I am going here?
We all change our minds, we grow, expand, lighten up – whatever the case may be, but we do change. What we wanted a few months ago could be completely different than what we wanted now. But no one will know that unless you – novel thought here – tell them.
It may be difficult in seemingly going back against what you originally said, but hey, life happens. Things change and you are adapting. Get over yourself and communicate.
When people are job searching it amazes me when they tell me they do NOT want something then get upset because I did not tell them about an opportunity. Wait – why are you mad at me? I was respecting what you said! And I am in the wrong because you changed your mind but didn’t tell me? That is the mind-reading aspect we have already discussed.
Or better yet they get upset if someone else takes the opportunity. Their mindset is “well, I would have wanted it if you would have told me.” Or “I didn’t know I wanted it until you said something and now that you did I really do want it but now it is too late.” Seriously? Again, not a mind reader.
Take a step back for a moment and realize that those in your network are actually showing you respect by not wasting your time with something you do not want. That is a good thing. If you change the rules it is only fair to tell them so they can continue to respect you and help you in any way that they can.
Take time to evaluate where you are now, what you want and how you can effectively communicate this so others can assist you. Sometimes this mean going against something you previously said. It is not a bad thing so swallow your pride and get over it. I would rather look like a fool for a moment and be able to take advantage of a great opportunity rather than stoke my pride and loose out. Think about it.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.