No, I don’t have a bad case of the Mondays – I am doing the best service that I can for my clients, readers and anyone out there that has stumbled across this – I am being honest.
It is going to suck and it is going to happen.
So, knowing this fact what are you going to do about it?
You could hop on the delusional train and be transported to two separate destinations:
- I’m going to get hurt so I’m not going to try. –or-
- I’ve completely convinced myself that I can’t get hurt so I’m going all in.
It isn’t a pleasant train ride. Don’t even buy the ticket.
When you are job searching, just like in dating or relationships, you have to put yourself out there to get what you need. That is scary.
What prevents some people from reaching happiness is stopping themselves from putting it out there because they don’t want to get hurt again.
It is going to happen, but guess what, you will survive.
If heartache actually killed people the world would barely be inhabited.
We have all had our hearts broken, dreams shattered and hopes dashed. But you have to keep going.
Sure you could settle for something less and protect yourself; but you will not find happiness and self-worth in that. It is called settling and it is just a long, slow torture of hurt.
So how do you get over the fear? Face it and face yourself.
No one wants to get emotionally hurt and the only way to stop it is by cutting yourself off completely. Risk of hurt vs. absolutely no connection. That is a pretty easy call for me.
Here are some things to help summons the courage to face the fear and move forward:
- Be realistic: stop being dramatic – you aren’t going to die.
- It is them: stop taking it personally. They didn’t hire you, it was a business decision.
- Man up: take accountability for your own actions. Did you seem engaged or even act like you wanted the job?
- Take stock: do you really have what they need? Again, it is business and the best fit is the most value for the money. You are the value in this situation – are you offering the most for that organization? Maybe a little more experience or training is needed.
- Invest in yourself: not just a business class or that experience – but emotionally. You are your biggest supporter or biggest adversary – it is all in how you talk to yourself.
- Align yourself: make sure your thinking and your actions support each other. Don’t tell yourself every day that you are the best and are going to get that job but your actions pin you in like a recluse.
- Know your limits: what are you willing to go through to get to where you want to go? If there are hurdles, promotions or designations to earn, a learning process – are you willing to do it?
- Respect yourself: if you need to walk away do so on your terms. If it is a constant fight to get to that next place is it about the fight or about the victory?
- Respect others: do not use others as a crutch because you are not ready. Stop asking for referrals and meetings when you don’t follow through on other actions to make it happen. You end up hurting them by making them feel used. Stop it.
- Be fearless: the best way to fight a fear is to open yourself up and say “I’m not afraid – I am excited!” Change the way you view it and it will change the way it is presented to you.
I was watching an amazing show this weekend about the men who built America. One snippet was about how Rockefeller was a struggling small business owner facing failure and was called to a meeting with Vanderbilt. He was in awe, this was a man that he wanted to model himself after. He viewed Vanderbilt as a man on mount high and himself as almost unworthy to meet with him. He was scheduled to leave by train for the meeting.
He missed his train. The seat he had on the original train was the car that exploded in the train crash and there were no survivors.
That way too close call changed his whole perspective. He got back in alignment with himself and knew he was a man of value. He scheduled another meeting and went with a whole new attitude – as an equal.
He made the terms of the agreement and that was the beginning of a significant and masterful journey of business domination. Oh yeah, and in setting the terms he over-promised but he knew if he could go in and control the meeting he could meet the demands. And he did.
Be a newly found Rockefeller – you are on equal terms with what you want and you are deserving of it. Do not be afraid of it, face it head on, look it in the eyes and meet it with an openness rather than a defense.
You may get rejected a time or two (or even 1,000 as Einstein) but you will get a yes. That is what matters and that is where it can all begin!
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.