You need to choose, make a choice, decide, pick A or B – make a decision what you want to be, which one thing do you want the most in your career, relationship, life. Hurry up, figure it out, eliminate all other options so you can move forward.
That’s the message I hear over and over again; no matter what the age or experience – you need to choose as though you need to eliminate all things over just one.
Why can’t you have it all? Why can’t you have this and that? Why does it have to be one thing at the cost of all others?
I say you can, or at least you should try, without – and here is the kicker – guilt.
It is not wrong to want to appease all sides of yourself. You don’t have to be just the analytical one or just the creative one or just the leader or just the team player – you can be a lovely kaleidoscope of everything that you are – and are meant to be.
I was talking to a woman yesterday who had it in her mind that she had to decide on a career path that encompassed either element A or element B. When I asked her about looking for something that combined factors of the two it literally shocked her system.
She went silent, asked if that was possible and then began to cry. She said she had only been known for one thing or the other and didn’t know who she should be because she wanted to do both.
I was very fortunate to grow up in an environment that didn’t label me as being a girl so I only got Barbie dolls. I think there were some in the house but they were my sisters, I never really played with dolls. I was at the elementary school playing basketball and handing on the monkey bars.
I was a girl who grew up without girl limitations. I had my choice between Barbie dolls and basketballs. This led me to grow up to be a woman who traded those in for power tools and power shoes.
Oh yes, I have my own set of power tools and I know how to use them quite well. I put in my own laminate flooring, build a wall of bookshelves and various other things using my very own table saw.
And I’m a shoe whore. I love my girlie shoes, all colors and designs, at least three inch spike heel with pointed or open toes. I rock the pump and I love the smell of cut lumber. But not at the same time.
We can be all things inside, just not at the same time, but in degrees, waves and segments.
When looking for that next step in the job or career market leave yourself open to looking for things that appease all sides of you. This is when you will ignite passion, deepen commitment and really offer value.
It is okay if these things do not make sense to anyone else – they don’t have to, they are not you. If you find people trying to discourage you from finding something that has a combination of your elements because “it doesn’t exist” or “that doesn’t exist” just tune them out. Odds are they are coming from a negative place because they didn’t or don’t have the courage to expand themselves like you are trying to do.
You go do you – whatever that may be – just do you.
You define it, you go after it and you make you happy. When you find that right combination of Barbie dolls and basketballs or power tools and power shoes then it will bring out the best in you. It is the best gift can you offer to yourself, your clients, your coworkers, your company and your family?
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW