Something you really want yet instead of seeing the path on how to achieve it, all you can see is that it seems so far away.
This is not uncommon and it is not an indication that you are failing in achieving this goal.
You just need to employ this one super-powerful key to get what you want.
Before I share this, let me first say it is not complicated. No 14 steps, no complicated system, nothing that entails mantras, changing your entire lifestyle or howling at the moon.
In fact, it is so easy my pups do it.
The key: ask.
That’s right, simply ask for what you want.
Might I go as far as saying it is daring.
So often we look at something or envy others and say to ourselves, “I want that.” But that is as far as we go.
We give plenty of reasons (or excuses) as to why we cannot have it. Perhaps we think it is too good to be true, we are not ready, we are not worthy or we are too afraid to admit or go after what we really want.
This could be a new job, a new connection, a reconnection, an introduction, an invitation, learning a new skill or improving upon an existing skill.
No matter what your “it” is, the thing that is preventing you is the thing that is the key to achieving it: asking for it.
Ask someone in a position similar to what you want for their time. Ask them how they got there, do they have any suggestions or advice. Ask a company what they are looking for when recruiting a certain position. Ask a mutual connection for an introduction. Ask your lost connection how they are and if they would like to meet for coffee. Ask for help from someone who is an expert at the skill you wish to improve if they would assist you, mentor you or teach you.
The things that frighten me the most are the things I do not ask for.
When I was about 4 my mom took me to her work and I met her co-workers, one of which had a candy jar on her desk and asked if I would like a piece of candy. To which (according to my mom) I replied, “No, I would like two, please.”
When I was 14 I asked my dad to show me how to hot-wire a car. Don’t ask me why. My dad just calmly looked at me and said no. My little mind told me there was no harm in asking. Although I think I had my dad worried for a bit.
The bigger things in life, I did not ask because of fear.
Afraid of looking stupid, afraid of being told no, afraid of rejection or afraid that once I gained this thing or knowledge then I would not be able to employ it, keep it up or comprehend it. Something about fear of success or fear of failure.
I realized one day that being safe in not looking stupid or being rejected or whatever laundry list my little voice in my head gave me kept me safe in an unsafe place. I did not grow, I did not expand, I did not learn – I remained stuck in my uncomfortable safeness.
I’ve looked stupid, I’ve been rejected and I have forgotten more than I have learned. But I keep asking.
I keep learning, I keep meeting new people, I keep achieving goals in my persona and private life.
Start with asking, then the doors start opening up. It is the first step. It also provides a commitment. Once you have asked, you have said it out loud, you have confirmed to yourself that you truly do what it. Once you take that first step, the next comes easier.
The picture attached to this blog is one of my pups, Luke. Luke is the happiest dog I have ever known. He is a master of asking. He is never sidelined by rejection. If he asks me to play ball and I tell him not now, he spits the ball at me and goes and plays with another toy. He leaves the ball with me so when I am ready, ten we can play. He does not see “no” as an uncompromising “never”, he sees it as a “not now”.
For a dog that has not figured out in five years that every time I go into the shower I will not get sucked down the drain and will, indeed, reemerge; he sure is smart.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Brand Strategist & Career Coach
Certified Professional Resume Writer