Letting go can be one of the hardest yet most critical step in moving forward. Whether it is ideals, actions, tools or simply mindsets – the more we hang on to anything that is old, outdated or unproductive the more harmful they can be in reaching our goals.
I make it a policy to always provide a free resume review. I am not redoing their resume at that point simply giving my opinion. Pointing out positives, challenges and suggestions.
If someone is interested in hiring me then the review allows them the opportunity to get a feel for how I think, how I communicate and what type of service they will receive. It is very important that we are able to communicate openly, they are able to trust me and they feel comfortable with the entire process.
Sometimes during this review I come across individuals who are a bit attached to their current work. With that mindset it becomes more of a debate and justification: why can’t they keep using theirs, it isn’t that much different than what I have said or they do not agree with my assessment.
It doesn’t matter that they are not getting calls or interviews, or that others have told them they could really use some professional help. Nope, their way is the only way, period. And I become the target.
It is ok, I raised boys I can handle it.
They are very emotionally attached to this document which they created giving it a lot of time, consideration and effort. They worked really, really hard on this and that emotional attachment creates the feeling of come hell or high water you will live and die by this.
During the review I really think they are hoping that I will agree and tell them it is fantastic, and I wouldn’t change a thing; which would be much better and less of a blow to the pride. I can understand this. I take a great deal of pride and ownership in my work so I really can relate.
It is comfortable, it may be dysfunctional, but it is still comfortable. You are in a bad relationship with this mindset, tool or actions but by golly, you know you are still in a relationship and isn’t that better than being alone? NO! Duh.
I once had a client who was a contractor that pretty much hated the new branding piece I created. He was so attached to his old one that he was just beside himself with what I did because it was so different. It was new, it was untested, it was unfamiliar it wasn’t comfortable or “safe”. Oh, he hated it. And he let me know. Then he told me out of spite he was going to use it, with the undertone of “I’ll show you!” hoping it would fail so he could say “I told you so”.
He got hired for a new contract.
Immediately.
With glowing reviews about the piece.
Then he got hired again, and again….
Yup, he sure showed me. But that was ok, I understood where he was coming from and could empathize with the fear and anger. So I let him vent and was gracious when he came back and said, “I was wrong.”
I told him he was just afraid and there is nothing wrong with that as long as he moved forward anyway and that was exactly what he did – leading to success.
Luckily he had an awesome coach that helped him move through the fear of letting go. Yes, that would be me. Allow yourself to listen to others if you are stuck. Just stop for a moment and detach.
Because even though you may have worked really, really hard on this if it does not truly represent you then it is not working in your best interest.
Are you banging your head on that wall because it feels so good when you stop or because you are too afraid to turn around and move forward freely? Give yourself the opportunity to divorce yourself from your old ways and entertain the possibility that something new and better could be right around the corner.
You will never see it if your emotional attachment has you blindfolded. Once you remove it you might just find that there is a big, huge world out there just waiting for you to join it!
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Career Coach-Strategist
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.