You probably define yourself in two different ways but do not even realize it. Most people don’t.
I can ask someone what they want in life, in a career, in a relationship in any area of their life and they can normally give me an idea. What is important to them, how they want to be treated, how they define their ideal, what makes them happy, what they will not tolerate are all things that they can at some point define.
However, when you compare this to their actual life, career, relationship or area of their life it is in direct conflict. Perhaps they want to be healthier yet they do not exercise in any way and eat a very unhealthy diet.
Maybe they want to pursue certain opportunities yet they do nothing to move forward from either getting more education to just reaching out to people to initiate steps to create relationships or avenues for growth.
They want a solid, healthy, supportive and happy relationship yet they are in a relationship that fails to make them happy on all levels.
It is the “not ideal but good enough” scenario.
What you are actually doing is saying to the world that you desire what you want but only deserve good enough.
That is not good enough.
If what you desire makes you happy than that is what you deserve. Period.
Stop settling.
It is not better to feed bad habits when you crave to be healthy.
It is not better to feel unappreciated or underutilized rather than go after the job you really want.
It is not better to be with someone to eliminate lonely rather than be alone.
It takes more strength to hold out and go after what you really want rather than settle for what is convenient.
Convenient does not equate to fulfillment.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “it shouldn’t be this hard!” But then a voice in my head (I am assuming it is my grandmother or dad) says, “why not?”
If everything came easily I wonder if I would appreciate it as much. I doubt it. When I work hard at something and I accomplish that goal I feel on top of the world. Exhilarated, triumphant, ten feet tall and bullet proof. Convenient doesn’t feel like that.
So it is hard for a reason. Sometimes the hard part is waiting and passing up on the easy. That sucks. When little tests are thrown your way in the middle of your journey. You have been working really hard at what you want to accomplish and an opportunity pops up. It isn’t ideal, it has hints of what you want but you know it isn’t the whole package.
Ah, temptation. I could stop now and settle for this opportunity or say, thank you. But no, I choose to keep pushing forward for the whole enchilada, a bite is not enough.
I spoke at a group yesterday and there was one gentleman there who just made my day. He is in a specialty field and has been working hard at making connections, pursuing leads, keeping positive and keep going. He has some opportunities and is in a holding pattern; yet he took a job as an “in between”.
He needs some income. He could have looked at is a failure that it is a much lower status that what he had been doing, but here is the impressive part: he looked at it as having some fun. He said he is making a few bucks, getting some exercise and being able to do something while he keeps moving forward.
Sometimes you have to take a pit stop – and that is all they are, a pit stop not an ending of the destination. He recognized it, chose to look at it as a positive and while still looking at the road ahead. That is why I know he is going to land on his feet and be a positive inspiration to his new company and coworkers.
Get your values in alignment. If you want certain things in a job, career, relationship or in your life then stand firm and own up to the fact that you are worth it. You deserve it so don’t settle. Period.
It may seem the stronger your values and commitment the harder the road; that only means the sweeter the reward.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW