It seems that little kids are always in such a hurry to grow up, always striving for that next milestone – double digit numbers of reaching 10, then 16, then 18, then 21 and it goes on. Then one day we realize we are now grown ups and wonder how that happened and how do we make it stop?!
The problem is, too many think that by not acting like a grown up will somehow fool Mother Nature or Father Time – uh, no, parents are much smarter than that. I have a feeling the both of them are saying the same thing:
I can’t remember the exact sayings but the gist is this: a true measure of a man is not in what happens to him but how he deals with it – and – what is important is not how one behaves when they get what they want, but rather when they don’t.
Forgive me now for sounding a bit preachy or harsh today. I’m a coach and there are times that you have to tell the team to suck it up because they are not performing at their best. I’ve seen some underperforming stars, things have not turned out like they want or their behavior is not reflecting the team appropriately so let’s get started on the locker room pep talk.
Let’s review some elements of being a grown up to bring out your “A” game:
It may look bad, you may be way down at the half but the game isn’t over yet. Instead of blaming the refs, your teammates, the sun got in your eyes, the crowd is too loud or any other myriad of excuses try looking at yourself. How have you contributed to your failure?
What have you don’t to contribute to the situation and what are you going to do to turn it around?
Are you feeling sorry for yourself, are you ready to just quit? Give up now and you have 100% guarantee at failure. If you suck it up now and decide to give it everything you have then even if you don’t get your goal you can hold your head high and say “Screw it – I did my best.” Perhaps it will give you the opportunity to see that the goal wasn’t as important as you once thought. There might even be a lesson in doing something with complete dedication and passion.
What are you doing? Are you sitting around blaming everyone else instead of actually giving it a real try? Stop thinking the world is against you – the world has better things to do than to conspire against you. Sorry, you are just not that important for the entire world to conspire against you. Stop thinking and DO!
We all screw up, sometimes it is just a little error and sometime times it is a major catastrophe. Recognize that you have messed up and try to make it right. Don’t try to hide it, don’t try to avoid it and don’t try to blame it on something else. Suck it up and say, “I screwed up. This is what I did and this is what I am going to do to make it right.”
This comes in two parts – accept yourself and accept others. We all have faults; accept your own faults instead of beating yourself up. If you can’t hit a three pointer than get your butt out on a court and practice, practice, practice. If it just isn’t something that you can ever master than stop trying to take the shot in the game – accept the fact that it just isn’t going to happen and pass the damn ball.
Accept others. If you finally accept yourself faults and all then have the same courtesy to accept others with their faults. Remember how we all mess up – well be a grown up to listen when someone apologizes and appreciate the fact that they are grown up enough to apologize. If you screwed up then apologize with sincerity. Maybe a teammate screwed up and walked away, just because someone screwed up doesn’t mean that the team is doomed and forever broken. Sometimes a team is new and it takes time to get the feel for it and some acclimate to a new environment better than others. Don’t give up before you have had time to gel – let them back on the court.
I had to stick with the A theme – by ascend I mean go with the flow and soar. Stop trying to control everything and everyone around you. You can’t control the refs or even your own teammates. Let it go, get in the groove of the game and give it your best. If you are playing the game there is somewhere in you the passion to play. Let your passion out, stop worrying about what might happen and concentrate on right now and love it.
The texture of the ball in your hand, the sound of the squeaky shoes on the floor, the low murmur of the crowd somewhere in the background, the adrenalin coursing through your body, the heightened sense of awareness knowing where your defender is and the sweet sound of the ball flowing through the net with a gentle “swoosh”. The moment – give it everything you have and see where it takes you.
Play hard, play fair, play with passion and at the end of the day you are going to be on a winning team.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.