I know someone that bemoans consistently about the negative results of one of their behaviors. Every time a negative result happens it is almost a surprise to them, then it becomes an “a-ha” moment, then a heart-felt “I have to stop doing that” and lastly all that insight goes out the window when they turn around and do it all over again. Well it has just gotten to the point of irritating the bejesus out of me.
Here’s a newsflash: that habit isn’t going to change because you don’t want it to. I don’t care what you say, your actions keep repeating themselves therefore you do not want to change. Just because you want something to be different doesn’t mean it is going to automatically happen.
I would like to wake up with the figure I had in college, have three well trained dogs, my house cleaned from top to bottom and a closet that looks like a showroom for Jones and White House Black Market. No matter how hard I wish or say please, please, please the figure is present day, the dogs have created mischief, the cleaning fairies still haven’t shown up and the delivery trucks with my wardrobe must be lost.
Wishing just doesn’t cut it, neither does solely recognizing the problem and stopping there. Change takes work, consistent effort that often times sucks. If it were easy don’t you think you would have been doing it right in the first place? And if you are not willing to put in the work then do us all a favor and please shut up.
One of my biggest challenges is organization. It is a continual battle for me. My two biggest supporters have two different ways of encouraging me. We need encouragement to continue not only on the days that it is really difficult but also on the days that it is easy, because those are the days that might trick you into sliding out of your habits.
On the difficult days Jackie tells me to look back at the last week, month or quarter and recognize everything I have accomplished. On the easy days Jeff tells me one day doesn’t career make. They are both right, but no matter what they say it’s up to me to take the action. When I don’t then it is my own fault if things get out of hand and I have no reason to complain about it.
But for those habits that I don’t want to change, and the ones you don’t want to either, I’ll make you a deal – I’ll shut up about mine if you shut up about yours. I bet between the two of us we will make someone’s day a little better – a day with a little less whine.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Career Polish, Inc.
www.careerpolish.com