Happy Complaining Is Still Complaining

mouth taped shutI read something the other day about trying an experiment – try going an entire day without complaining.  Seems being the key word here.


I did not give it much thought until I got a double whammy this week.


I was talking to my best friend and she was asking the status of the projects going on and how I was doing.  I’ve been very busy at work and every other available moment I’ve been helping a friend get his house ready and move out of his apartment.  Today is drop date.


I was telling her how things were progressing and about the exhaustion.  Then she said, “But you’re not complaining.”


It was a statement, not a question.  But it did get me to thinking – did I sound like I was complaining?  That would be bad because I am actually extremely grateful.  Grateful for being able to help my clients and love helping as many as I can; I love being busy!


I am grateful to be able to help my friend because it is just a small measure of being able to help him as much as he has helped me over the years and he is family.  My mom and step-dad have also been helping as well.  I’m grateful that I have a family that is there no matter what when one of us needs it.


That was the first whammy – thinking I might sound like I’m complaining when I am actually very grateful.


The second whammy came when I was talking to a friend and he was said something about being exhausted himself.  His work has been very busy and he has been working at 3 am.  Of course I asked what on earth he was doing at 3 am and his response was my second whammy.


“Walking the streets waking up homeless people to give them blankets socks and water, and medical attention if needed and counting them.”


Wow.  Perspective.   And let me be clear – he was not complaining.


Earlier this week we had major rain storms and strong winds but temperatures reached in the sixties; there was a lot of grumbling about the storms.  This morning it is snowing.  More grumbling.  It is Indiana, really, we should not be surprised.


It is cold – but you have a warm place to stay.  It is wet – but you have shelter to stay dry.  You may not be exactly where you want to be in life but you have resources and support.


Maybe you do not have that dream job, a decent job or a job at all.  But what you do have is the ability to change that.  You have resources to get the information you need to move forward.  Research what it will take to get to where you need to go, take appropriate steps and ask for help when you need it.  If you choose not to take actions or ask for help then shut the hell up about being miserable.  You are choosing to stay in that position and have no one to blame but yourself.


Maybe your finances are a complete wreck and you are on a limited income.  Instead of looking at what you don’t have look at what you do.  You have income coming in, you have food on the table, you have people in your life that love you and you have your health.  You do not need money to spend time with people you love you just need to be available and open to them.  Those memories you cannot buy.  If you think that the only way you can be happy is with material items then shut the hell up and don’t complain to your loved ones.  What you are telling them is they come in second to material items or financial stability.  Personally I would rather be a loving broke than a lonely rich.


Maybe you do not have the relationship you want but again, you have the ability to change that.  If you are not where you want to be, move.  If you are not getting what you want then communicate.  If you want something more then say it; if you are afraid suck it up.  Take control because it is not the responsibility of someone else to make you happy.  That is your responsibility.  Someone else can bring value into your life but they cannot define you.  And running from it will not make it happen so if you choose to avoid then shut the hell up about being unhappy.


What is positive in your life right now?  What do you have to be grateful for at this moment?  Your health, your family or how about the fact that you woke up today?  Whatever it is be thankful for that and do not add a “yes but”.


No complaining – try a day of it.  It might surprise you how often you express gratitude yet add the subtle complaint at the end.  You may not be ready to go after that job, relationship or change right now but you can take a step back and realize where you are, the positives that it has to offer and how you can make changes to move forward.



Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW

Career Coach-Strategist

Certified Professional Resume Writer

Career Polish, Inc.




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