If They Offer To Help – Suck It Up and Let Them

I have a client having a bit of a struggle this morning.


He met a few people at a recent networking event who offered to forward his resume to prospective opportunities.  They were well connected and stated that they often hear about opportunities that are not released to “the general public”.  Sounds great – right?  So what is the struggle?


He is having a hard time accepting the help.


I have been working with him this morning on an email response and each time I keep including something to the effect of enclosing his resume as they had requested it or offered to forward on his behalf.


He keeps striking it.


I finally asked him if they offered to send his resume or if he asked them to; he said they offered without any prodding from him.


Then attach the darn thing to the email!


It is great when someone says they will help you, but then when we have to follow up and provide them with the tools our brain gets all wonky.  It is an odd phenomenon but a very common one.


Often my clients will tell me that they feel bad sending their resume, like they are being pushy.


You are not being pushy if they offered to send it out – how can they possibly do that if you do not give it to them??


Here is something to think about: if you do not give it to them and they did in fact offer to forward on your behalf, don’t you think it will come across that you dropped the ball in not sending it?  Or what do you think they will surmise if you do send them a thank you but no resume – that they have to drag it out of you?  They offered once, stop pushing your luck and just send it to them.


If they do not send it – that is okay, but you gave them the opportunity to do so.  If you do not provide it there is a guarantee that they will not send it out for you.  Odds are in your favor for sending it to them.


That is part of networking, by the way.  Offering and providing assistance.  It is part of the gig.  You help others first.  Good networkers know this and they put it in action.  If you re-enter the workforce in a capacity of a decision maker you will remember who walks the walk and who talks the talk.  Good networkers also know this.


If someone offers to help you in your search simply thank them and let them.  If you didn’t want help why did you show up in the first place?  Relax, you are not imposing if someone offered.


It is like taking a compliment.  Some people are very bad at this – I used to be terrible.  But I have wonderful friends who would tell me all the time, “Just say thank you and shut up.”


If assistance is offered: say thank you, send what you need to and shut up.



Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW

Career Coach-Strategist

Certified Professional Resume Writer

Career Polish, Inc.


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