If You Are Apologizing For the Why Then It’s the Wrong Why or the Wrong Audience

why - black and white

One of the first questions I ask prospects interested in working together for either career advancement, business building or job searching is “What is going on?”


For me to get an accurate understanding of where they have been and where they want to go I need to understand where they are now – and the reasons they want to change.


Some of the responses I have heard are:


I hate my boss.

I want more money.

I want to move.

I want more challenges.

I want benefits.

I want stability.

I want to be happy.

I am tired of the life being sucked out of me there.

I want to be appreciated.

I want to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

I want to help more people.

I want to build my client list.

I want to expand into a new market.

I want to be able to take more time for myself.”


No right answers, no wrong answers and no judgments about one reason being more worthy or noble than any other.


Your reason for wanting a change is like your opinion: it is yours and therefore cannot be wrong to you.  My job is to help you get there, not to judge you on why you want to go.


So if you are in line with your why then who has the right to judge you?  I heard Bob Proctor say once that it was none of his business what other people thought about him.  It took me awhile to get that, but once it sunk in, I truly enveloped it.


But here is the thing – if you feel you owe me an apology or explanation as to why you want to leave then maybe it truly isn’t your why.


I have certain goals.  They may seem selfish or selfless to others, but that is not my concern.  They are well thought out, personally driven aspirations to which I have committed.  I know I am committed to one when I can tell my best friend point blank what it is without adding the noise.


The noise is the “I want this because…” statements.  I don’t have to justify to her or explain, she accepts my goal for what it is – something I want, not an idea that she needs to approve or modify.


If you find yourself having to explain your why then you need to re-evaluate one of two things:  the why itself to see if it truly rings true to you or the people that you are sharing it with.  If the people are asking you for justification then realize that is their problem – not yours.  Perhaps they cannot admit to themselves that they, too, want more money.


We are told wanting more money or responsibilities could be seen as selfish.


It isn’t.  With more responsibility you can give greater value to your team and your company.  With more money you can provide more to your family, self, friends and community.


The more you have the more you can give.  That seems pretty selfless to me.


Yes, you benefit, but so does everyone around you.


Stop beating yourself up for the why and accept it, embrace it, commit to it and then take action toward it.


Once you do these four things you can accomplish it!



Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW



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