Sometimes You are the Only One Who Sees the Minor Negative

As a young adult I used to color my hair – all the time, I hated the gray in my hair. My dad was salt and pepper gray and always received compliments on his hair. Of course I think it is much easier for a man to be prematurely gray, even streaks, than a woman. Just my opinion. But I hated it. Then I realized that I hated keeping up with covering the roots even more, so I colored my hair one last time to my natural darker shade and let the gray come in. Now, I have learned to appreciate the gray, I like the fact that it is there, it is a little different and I choose to look at it as my own natural highlights. Okay, well it makes me feel better at night…But I will admit, I am still a bit self-conscience about it now and then.

Last week I met a friend for a drink and he arrived at the bar before I did. When I walked in, I took off my coat and was getting ready to sit down when this young man walked up and said, “Can I see some ID please.” I thought he was kidding. I thought maybe he just saw me from behind (I am very petite and have long hair so he might have assumed I was younger just from my stature). I turned around and looked at Bouncer Guy and he repeated the request. Let me state here for the record that I am a little slow on the uptake sometimes before finishing this story. Here was the discussion.

Me: “Are you kidding?”
Bouncer Guy: “No.”
Me: “Seriously?”
Bouncer Guy: “Yes”
Me: “You’re kidding, right?”
Bouncer Guy: “No” (getting a little exasperated at this time)
Bouncer Guy: “Did you pay him?” (to my friend)
Friend: “No!”
Bouncer Guy: “Seriously?!!” (I told you I was a little slow sometimes)
Bouncer Guy: Just gave me a not so friendly look – so I showed him my ID
Bouncer Guy: “You sure this is you?”

I guess the gray hair did not play a part in that at all! And, oh yes, I did the little happy dance, “I got CARDED and I am over 40 dance!”

So even though I have been self-conscience about my gray this event was just a little reminder that sometimes what we think is a big deal is not even noticeable to others.

So what is it about you, whether physically, mentally or socially that you feel a bit self-conscience about? Now take a step back and think about if anyone has ever really noticed it about you or if it really is just you that sees that trait. Chances are it is only you. So my wish for you today is that you let it go, be free of it. As for me, I let go of the gray issue and now realize that I need to learn to stop arguing with bouncers.

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