I just have to first start by saying I love my friends. They are the kind of people that make you laugh so hard you that you snort when you laugh and of course they call you a name for that. They are also an amazing bunch that are in essence kind, loving and enjoy life.
Most are in relationships so they look out for me as the single gal. Not sure that I still believe in knights in shining whatever they fill that void for me. They always have my best interest at heart – even if they are making fun of me or my dating fiascos.
So imagine my surprise when last night four of us were out and about and in an instant testosterone flared and the gauntlet was thrown; but that gauntlet just happened to be a carrot.
Yes, a carrot.
My girlfriend and I were off to the side and a gentleman came up and began a conversation with us. He walked us back to her boyfriend and my friend and continued the conversation with the rest of the group. The temperature may have been dropping outside but the testosterone was rising in our general vicinity.
In a blur new guy did something unappreciated, my friend stood up and told him it was time for him to leave and my girlfriend and I looked at each other with puzzled looks as in “what just happened?”
When my friend was explaining his actions to her boyfriend it was then revealed that he threw a carrot at new guy before standing up and telling him to leave. The way it was presented was though it was an every day, normal action that any man would have done.
It was at this point I stopped him and said, “Wait – you threw a carrot at the man? You defended my honor with a carrot?!”
He really wasn’t defending my honor, it was more a marking of territory, but it was still a carrot. And since he was so quick in chucking vegetables that none of us noticed it he commented that it was a ninja carrot.
A ninja carrot.
Kids I am not making this up – and I have witnesses. The ironic part is my friend has stated that he is going to make it a mission to find that right guy for me. Apparently there is a carrot test. Who knew.
You know, sometimes people want to help you but their actions or words can be counter productive to the situation. When job searching and interviewing this can rear its head during the follow up when prospective employers are talking to your references.
They may have your best intention at heart but what they communicate or how they communicate it may actually do more damage than good.
This is why it is a good idea to prep your references prior to anyone contacting them. It is okay to ask them what they will say or what they think are your best skills and attributes. You want to have an idea of what they are going to say to make sure it is in line with what you are presenting to the prospective employer.
If, in hearing their answers, you feel that they may not help the cause you can choose to not list them on your references – without them knowing.
One way to help make sure that the message is consistent it to give them your resume. You can ask them to review it just to get their thoughts but what you are really doing is giving them a script. This way they have at hand what it is that you have presented to the prospective employer and they will not be caught off guard when they get that call.
As for me, now I know that when my friend and I go out again that there cannot be any veggie trays in the general vicinity.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.