Have you ever have a problem or a situation that is beyond frustrating and try as you might, you cannot get out of the funk of it? Then someone all happy comes along and tells you to relax, everything will work out ok, be positive or some other sentiment that makes you want to throat punch them?
And I have been that happy person you want to throat punch, too, but not in a traditional sense.
I am not going to tell someone struggling with a very painful and difficult situation to ‘just be happy, it will all work out’. Blah. Yet I do want to help them get out of that mindset and be able to move forward in a positive way.
The way I help work it out is the way I learned that works best for me. I learned it the hard way and wish I would have learned it years ago.
I ask one question: “Where is the good?”
That whole personal experience thing –tragic family and career events – I can look back now and for every single one, there was a positive. They all lead me in a different or better path. I could not see it at the time because I was too focused on the negative – losing a job, being cheated on, blah, blah, blah.
It is hard asking yourself – and even harder answering – what is the good in this terrible situation. But it can be a game changer. It changes your perspective, it changes your attitude and it can change the next course.
This really works best if you have someone you trust who will help you, i.e. get in your face and not let you quit.
At first you are going to answer ‘there is nothing good about this, I just lost my job!’ or whatever the situation is, ‘how can it possibly be good?’
When you are so entrenched on the negative and want to throat punch your accountability partner, this is where they need to step it up. They need to ask you how much did you love that job? They know you, you probably hated it but are now romancing it up because it is no longer there.
Stop that. And that is what your accountability partner needs to do for you, help you stop that. Whether calling you out on it bluntly or asking sarcastic questions to make you laugh – whatever it is, they need to help you get past that initial chicken little immersion attitude. If you are not comfortable doing this with someone else, do it in the bathroom mirror and give yourself hell.
If that thought pops in your head, ‘I really hated that job’ then you might realize the good could be that you are finally free of that life-sucking monstrosity of a company.
Maybe losing your job allows you to find something you really want. Something closer to home. Something more you like to do. Something that allows you to go back to school to finish or get a degree in what you really love. Something that gives you more time with your family. Something that pays the bills and isn’t too taxing so you can figure out what you want to do. Something in another state because now you are free to go anywhere you want.
You won’t know what the good is until you ask the question and force yourself to keep giving answers beyond the “there is no good”.
Many times we cannot see the good until sometime later and it has all played out. This is not an exercise in setting a concrete path as to what is next. This is an exercise to allow your mind to be open to the possibility that something good or better will come from this. When you shift that mindset from complete negative to optimistic potentially positive, good things will be revealed to you. Because now you can see them – they have always been there, but asking what is good helps take your blinders off.
Think about something going on right now, it does not have to be a life-changing negative thing, just a problem or challenge that you are having right now. What’s the good in it? Start jotting down some ideas and by the end of the day you might just have a whole new perspective and a solution!
As the Founder and Principle of Career Polish, Inc., a national career coaching and practice firm, I am an Executive Brand Strategist, Resume Writer and Career Coach. I work with individual clients, companies, leadership and teams to identify, strengthen and effectively communicate their brand, engagement, commitment and most importantly – their value – by learning and leveraging LinkedIn, resumes, networking, communication, relationship management, presence and influence.
I help people get from where they are in their jobs to where they want to be in their careers.
Click here – CareerPolish.com – to find out more about how we can help you.
★ In order to be kept up to date on all my articles Click the “Yes Please!” button on the right side. ★