Too Attached To The Outcome

WorrySometimes we want something so badly that we focus on the ultimate outcome rather than the steps to actually reach that outcome.  Bad idea.


There are other times that we are almost afraid to hope for the thing we want the most so we attach ourselves emotionally to that outcome and completely ignore the things that are happening around us right here right now.  Bad idea.


I’m a planner and an analyzer.  I will admit it.  It is a critical skill as a mother.  You always have to anticipate for your children.  Going to baseball games and wrestling meets I always had the “bag”.


It was full of requirements for any occasion: sunflower seeds and gum for baseball; beef jerky and granola bars for wrestling; band aids; Neosporin; washcloth and baggie; black tape; pencils; sun block (baseball); the boys deodorant (they really stink at wrestling); rain poncho; ace bandages; you name it – it was in the bag.


I never had an occasion where I had to use every item in the bag.  It was for preparation but the tools were only used on an as needed, in the moment basis.


Going after that gig you really want is the same thing.  React on an as needed, appropriate in the moment manner.


Focus too much on how much you really want the job and you may miss an important statement in a follow up interview.  They may be giving you clues on how to further align yourself with the job but you are only wanting to hear the words, “We want to make you an offer” that you miss it.


Wanting that job so badly can also make us start to doubt ourselves.  Maybe you have been excited about another job as much but that one ended badly so your fear starts to warp that excitement and equate it with failure.


It is a different company, a different time, a different opportunity and a different you.


That’s like really liking someone but being afraid to get close because the last time you felt this way about someone it totally blew up in your face.


Different person, different time, different opportunity and a different you.


Do not punish the new person for the behavior of the old one.  Same rule applies for the job, too.


Let go of the emotional attachment and look at right here, right now.  Are you in continual talks with this company – great – what is really being said?  Is it in line with what you want, perfect – go for it.  Let go and just go with it.


If you find yourself overanalyzing each action or statement (and trust me, I get this) just stop.  Let go of the emotional part and look at it as a whole.  They are interested as are you so just let it progress to a natural course of coming together.


I have found that things happen for a reason in their own time in their own way and it is not my job to know the why or try to fix it.  My job is to look at the here and now and what I can do to add value.  If it is meant to be then for crying out loud let it.  Stop getting in your own way and let it happen.



Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW

Career Coach-Strategist

Certified Professional Resume Writer

Career Polish, Inc.


Leave a Reply