Unsticking Yourself

candle shadowI’ve been stuck this week and it bugs me to no end.


I am a very active person and I absolutely hate the idea of being stuck.  Whether it be writing, communication, accomplishing goals, taking action or finishing a load of laundry –  I’ve felt stuck and it is driving me crazy.


At first I blamed a busy few weeks.  Helping a friend remodel his house, work, writing, meetings, friends, dogs, family – you name it I was using it as an excuse of not getting things done.


But that is when a light bulb went off in my head:  when you start blaming it is because you are avoiding.


It is easy to blame.  I can’t get a job because of the economy, the industry, no one is hiring, no one has the money, no one appreciates my skills, and whatever other item you choose to insert here.


I’m not saying that those things are not factors; however they are not the be all end all reasons.


To find the reason you have to look inside.


That is where you need realize that blaming is the symptom and the cure is to face the thing inside you do not want to.  There is a truth there that you do not want to face.


You may be scared of starting over, you may be ashamed of something in your past, or you are afraid of failure.  Those are diseases which can be cured.


The cure is not easy or quick but it can be had: identify the issue, face the fear, forgive yourself for the fear, determine to push through it, make a plan and take action.


You are not going to change your world in a day; however with one tiny step you are on your way.  Sometimes that tiny step is a decision.


Perhaps you are spending too much time on activities that are not lending results or with people who are not in your best interest.  You need to make the decision to value yourself and your time over anything else.


Networking is a powerful tool; however if you are networking with people who do not genuinely care about you, your business, your goals and your value than odds are that they do not appreciate the quality of you.  And they are just sucking valuable time out of your day for what purpose?


Last Friday I went to dinner with a dear friend of mine.  She is also insanely busy but we were able to finally carve out some time just for us.  We had a fantastic dinner and conversation.  No matter how much time passes between our visits we each treasure the time we spend together because we value each other and our friendship.  That is quality time.


Later in the evening we saw some other people who where there because they didn’t have anything else to do.  They weren’t there to spend time with people because they cared or wanted to but rather because they had nothing better to do.


Which one values and cares about you?  There are plenty of time fillers, but finding people who are supportive and value you even if it is a handful are far more important and worthy of your time.


It is easy to hide behind blaming or avoiding when not wanting to deal with the truth; however for every possible negative to that truth there are positives, as well.  It is your choice how you decide to look at it.


You may have to start over but it is a new adventure ripe with opportunities, successes and lessons.  You may find more fulfillment that you ever had before and would never have know had you not tried.


That new job may not work out the way you want but it gives you a clearer understanding of just what you do want and perhaps a lesson in interviewing the company more thoroughly before accepting the job.


Your past is just that – the past.  You cannot change it but you can learn and grow from it.  If you have you will be able to demonstrate that and take pride in who you are, what you have gone through and how far you have come.  Realize you are not done, you still have a lot more value to give.


Getting unstuck does not depend on anyone else, it starts with you.


Often the truths that we fear are like shadows at night.  They loom and look fierce and scary but once full light is shed on them we realize that they are tiny objects that grew out of our own imagination.  We also see clearly that they are small obstacles in the path of the light that once removed the shadows disappear.



Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW

Career Coach-Strategist

Certified Professional Resume Writer

Career Polish, Inc.



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