Turns out that he has a former colleague that also owns their own business and they had done work together in the past but there was a bit of a falling out. However, enough time has passed, water under the bridge etc to be able to move on. He wants to reconnect with this person but does not know how.
He asked me what I thought he should do. My reply was simple:
With this he countered with a litany of reasons why maybe he should not reach out, maybe they are still upset, blah, blah, blah. Seeming to think this line of defense would somehow change my mind he asked me again what I thought. Again, I gave him a simple reply:
He went through another round of maybes, what-ifs, buts and a barrage of bs apparently not understanding that this line of defense was not going to change my advise. That is the thing about my coaching – I don’t tell people what they want to hear, I tell them what they need to hear. He asked for my advice and realizing that two word responses were not getting through to him I gave him a more direct answer:
“Suck it up and pick up the phone. You know what you need to do you just don’t want to do it and I’m not going to give you permission to keep beating yourself up over it – get over it and make the call.” Remember – he asked…
There are people in all our lives that we want to reconnect with: friends, family, colleagues, clients, prospects – and we all know what needs to happen in order for that reconnection to happen. Communication.
Oh no! The dreaded “C” word!!
Communication does not mean some long, horrific, life-sucking, emotionally-draining, overly mushy talk. Communication can simply be a “hello”. That’s it. That is opening the door to communication. That wasn’t so scary now was it?
Text, email or call with a simple hi to start the ball rolling. Pick your method wisely; however, I would not suggest texting a former prospect “hi”. Do use common sense here.
If you want to send an email and not sure what to say try sending a simple ‘checking in’ email. Let them know that it has been some time since you last spoke and you just wanted to check in, you hope everything is going well for them and perhaps they have some time in their calendar that you two could reconnect next week.
There have been times that I have disconnected with people due to situations, miscommunications or circumstances and I have had to put on my big girl shoes and reach out.
Sometimes that meant saying I was sorry and sometimes it was telling them I respect their opinion even if I don’t agree with it but let’s move on.
Figure out what is more important to you – holding on to “being right” or having that collaborative partner, client, friend or family member back in your work/personal life.
As the wise Rafiki said in the Lion King, “It doesn’t matter – it is in the past.”
You have to open the door in order for someone to walk through it.
You might be afraid that if you extend your hand that they other party may smack it. That is a possibility but there are two things I have to say to that:
1. A short sting will last a moment and be less taxing than all the worrying that you are putting into not reaching out.
- That is their choice, but you can now choose to move forward.
You made the choice to reach out; you took action now you get to move forward in whatever direction you choose – ain’t life grand.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.