Today I am having a major case of my brain giving me the silent treatment. These days happen and they normally frustrate the heck out of me.
First I look to my dogs – give me an idea, an inspiration, just something to write about to open the floodgates. Most of the time they wake up long enough to open their eyes, yawn and give me the look like, “sorry, you are on your own.”
Other times they will either come up in my lap, bring me something they shouldn’t knowing I wont get as upset because it could be a possible story line or just ask to go out to pee.
So I talk to my best friend. This is the person who knows me better than anyone in this world. She knows what days to tell me “just get it done” or “ok, what’s going on?”
From writer’s block, boy troubles, kid crises or “I’m going to hell” moments my best friend always has my back. I trust her opinion because she looks at things with a perspective of what is best for me. No hidden motives, no agendas, no judgments – just what is in my best interest.
You need that. You probably have that but may not realize it because we are used to people telling us what to do.
Growing up our parents told us what to do, being married our spouses did, then our bosses – it is a never ending cycle. We get conditioned to when we have a problem we want someone to tell us what to do.
We easily give up ownership of our own happiness for the easy out in just being told what to do.
It is a cop out. You are not only short changing yourself but those telling you what to do, too.
Think about it, if you follow everyone else’s advice on what will make you happy and it doesn’t work what do you do – blame them. No – it is your fault for not manning up in your own life!
It is a scary thing having to make your own decisions because if they are wrong you have no one to blame but yourself. Well, that’s no fun.
But making those decisions doesn’t mean you are going it alone. I still make all sorts of bad decisions and my best friend (and dogs) are still there through it all. Right, wrong, stupid or just downright funny any decision I make she allows me to take full ownership and then supports me through the fallout or success.
Now that is having your back.
She may wonder what the hell I was thinking, but she listens to my explanation and continues to support. This does not mean that she agrees with everything – oh heck no. She will flat out tell me if something was just absurd, doesn’t makes sense or if I have lost my mind.
But no matter what she still supports me and doesn’t pacify me with “it will be ok” because sometimes it just isn’t. You don’t get the job, the guy or the bonus. It is life. Suck it up cupcake.
It would be really easy for me to call on a whole host of people when I am having some issue and talk to them to get their opinion on what I should do and they can give me all the foo-foo ‘everything will be just fine’ talks; but that isn’t having my back.
The one that tells me, “So, in thinking about taking this action your line of thinking is what again?” in a voice that implies she isn’t sure if I have morphed into crazy lady is the one that really has my back. Because she allows me to take accountability and responsibility while supporting whatever I do next.
Look at your support system and see who that person is for you and send them a message right now. Thank them. Right now. Thank them for being such a good friend even if you don’t act like it all the time. Because in allowing you to take ownership and responsibility they are actually showing you a great deal of respect and love by thinking of what is in your best interest.
Thank them now.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Career Coach-Strategist
Certified Professional Resume Writer
Career Polish, Inc.